1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,139 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,361 There you are. 3 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:14,797 I thought you got taken. 4 00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:17,321 I had this horrible image of you locked in a shed. 5 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:20,716 "Mister, please, I'm just a little lady. 6 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,239 "Unchain me. I'm late 7 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,720 -for my job at the DMV." -If that was my focus, 8 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,722 I would let him kill me. 9 00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,289 No, Barb, I told you-- 10 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,552 I'm taking the morning off to re-register my car. 11 00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,075 That's why you missed my morning meeting. 12 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,903 -Yeah. -It was so frustrating. 13 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,253 I tried to warn everybody about the rash of robberies 14 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,821 in East Hollywood, but as usual, nobody listens to Barb. 15 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,475 -AUTOMATED VOICE: G-12 -Ooh, that's me. Yay. 16 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,780 -at window number nine. -Sorry, what? 17 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,173 Wasn't listening. 18 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,045 Why is no one taking this seriously? 19 00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,395 The DMV has strict policies about how to react to robberies. 20 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,310 And if we don't get on the ball, we're gonna be nip-deep 21 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,398 in cow pie. 22 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:51,790 Relax, Barb. 23 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,531 That's why we got security. 24 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,931 We are not prepared for what's coming. 25 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,629 -Mr. Counter Worker. -Oh. 26 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,153 Madam Customer. 27 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,763 -Yeah. -Oh. 28 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:10,592 -Oh, a-a 1993 Volvo. -Mm-hmm. 29 00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,811 He's got a little rust around the hood, sure, 30 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,900 but otherwise stunning. 31 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,946 Okay. Uh-oh. 32 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,600 I actually can't register this vehicle. 33 00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:21,385 -Sure you can. -No, you're a year overdue for a smog check. 34 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:22,995 Actually, I'm three years overdue. 35 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,955 But, luckily, I have an in at the DMV. 36 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,826 -Wait, you do? -It's you. It's you. 37 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:30,438 -Oh. -So just, you know, tappy-tappy, everybody happy. 38 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,048 I'm so sorry. I can't. 39 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,398 Barb took away override privileges after Vic 40 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,009 tried to change his license to say "organ boner." 41 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,011 Do you remember the stickers he made? 42 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,013 So I took the morning off for nothing? 43 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,277 Man, the DMV sucks! 44 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,235 -Never said that from this side. -Whoa. 45 00:01:45,408 --> 00:01:46,193 Here you go. 46 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,846 [exclaims] I'm fine. 47 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,240 Which way do people normally storm out? 48 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,414 -They do go that way. -Great. Thank you. 49 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:52,503 Have a good day. 50 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,549 ♪ ♪ 51 00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,859 Apparently, I need to get a bunch of expensive repairs 52 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:03,079 before Gary can pass his smog test. 53 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,429 Oh, that's right. You're a car namer. Ugh. 54 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:08,606 There's nothing wrong with naming your transportaish. 55 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,609 I swear, my car runs better when I call it by name. 56 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,263 -The Buttmobile? -Yeah. 57 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,047 I also named my arms. 58 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,398 Jean-Claude, Stallone, 59 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,227 let's go get some creatine gummies. [grunts] 60 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:21,663 -Gross. -GREGG: Do you want me to take you 61 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:22,838 to Armando later? 62 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:23,969 He's the best mechanic in town. 63 00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,232 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:27,277 Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Gregg. 65 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,845 Oh, it's okay. I'll take any reason to not be here. 66 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,281 Gary thanks you, too. 67 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:32,978 [Nordic accent]: "Thank you, Gregg." 68 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,241 Don't do that. 69 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,372 -[regular accent]: He's Swedish. -Mm. 70 00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:36,373 Volvo. 71 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,591 ♪ ♪ 72 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,424 Take care. Goodbye. 73 00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:45,861 [deep voice]: Hey. A good boy puts the money in the bag. 74 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,602 S-S-Sorry, what? 75 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,603 A good boy puts the money in the bag. 76 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,822 Now. 77 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,303 Okay. Look, no one needs to get hurt, all right? 78 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,391 I'm just gonna reach for the register... 79 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,697 [groans] 80 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,089 -[gasping] -[grunts] 81 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,310 -[yelps] -Barb? 82 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,486 -[squeaks] -Why are you robbing the DMV? 83 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:04,358 [regular voice]: I was testing our crime readiness. 84 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,838 You could've held, like, a meeting or something. 85 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:07,839 I did. 86 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,928 But none of you listened. 87 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,452 -Oh. -I think you finally 88 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,889 un-deviated my septum. 89 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,152 Smells terrible in here. 90 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,980 -Yeah. -But you did get the water 91 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,590 out of my ear from last summer. 92 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,939 Hashtag grateful. [chuckles] 93 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,289 [groans] 94 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,295 -Ms. Tyler. -Mm-hmm. 95 00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:29,644 Do you park your car in a place with a lot of rats? 96 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,428 Yes. Los Angeles. 97 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:32,951 Yeah. Looks like some rodents have been chewing 98 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,997 at your wiring. Your entire exhaust system is out. 99 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,738 But he can still pass his smog test? 100 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,000 Totally. 101 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,175 After a-a new exhaust system 102 00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:40,524 and five or six other things I saw, 103 00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,700 you're looking at about... 3,000. 104 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,876 -Dollars? -Dollars. 105 00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:45,877 Are you saying "dollars"? 106 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,749 -I'm trying to. -Gregg. 107 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:48,966 -Mm-hmm? -There you are. 108 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,752 Were you working on a car? 109 00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,101 No. Meatball sub. 110 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,103 Armando's mom has a sandwich shop next door. 111 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,279 It's called "Ar-Mom-do's." 112 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,194 -That's so cute. -Yeah. 113 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,152 Did she tell you a bunch of rats had been chewing at it 114 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,503 and then try to charge you $3,000 for it? 115 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:03,808 -No. -No? 116 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,723 Look. 'Scuse us. 117 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,856 -The ESC is toast. -GREGG: Oh. 118 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,379 The EVAP system. 119 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,989 The oxygen sensor. 120 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,382 GREGG: You check the spark plugs? 121 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,427 Catalytic converter? 122 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,515 Yeah. 123 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,212 -The plugs are shot, too. -Mm. 124 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,910 The rest is just a matter of time. 125 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,565 -Yep. -Yep. 126 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,872 Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. 127 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,700 -What do we got here, fellas? -Well, 128 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,268 everything in this car is on life support. 129 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:31,271 -Mm. -You'd be better off buying a new car. 130 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,534 Yeah. If you like, we have a little used car lot 131 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,578 on the other side. [whistles] 132 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,711 Whoa. N-No. I love Gary. 133 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:37,973 Car namer. 134 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,496 Hey, I don't judge. 135 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,281 My wife dresses our husky in a turtleneck. 136 00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:43,326 Like neutering him once wasn't enough. 137 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,589 [weak chuckling] 138 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,808 [sighs] You're probably wondering 139 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,028 -why I'm pea-ing myself. -CECI: Mm. 140 00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,030 We're mostly wondering why you fake-robbed the DMV. 141 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:53,423 PAULA: Yeah, I posted the robbery 142 00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:54,685 to my Citizen app. 143 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,557 And now everybody thinks I'm paranoid. 144 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:59,386 I couldn't get you guys to take the crime wave seriously, 145 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,997 and I needed to see how we respond to a threat. 146 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,433 Let's roll the tape. 147 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:05,392 [grunts] 148 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,829 Now, for all Noa knows, 149 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,483 I'm a dangerous international jewel thief. 150 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:11,311 -[chuckles] -[all gasping] 151 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:14,226 Noa! That was good. 152 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,838 No clapping. Stop clapping. 153 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,579 Stop it. 154 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,451 What Noa did is wrong in every possible way. 155 00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,235 VIC: Hard agree. Should've hit him 156 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,150 with the eye gouge-throat punch combo. 157 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,238 Finish her! 158 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,327 BARB: DMV policy is clear. 159 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:28,763 In the event of a robbery, 160 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,374 -we must do nothing. -NOA: What? 161 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,594 We're supposed to just let them rob us? 162 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,987 Yes. Does anyone read 10 and-- 163 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,511 ow-- 10 and 2? 164 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,556 DMV magazine? Girl, you know I don't read 165 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,210 government propaganda. 166 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,691 Just last month, an armed robber hit the Venice branch. 167 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,170 Employees fought back, 168 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,476 and he sued for four million. 169 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,956 -Dollars? -Dollars. 170 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,044 Are you saying "dollars"? 171 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,524 I'm trying to. 172 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,090 Listen, we have one week until the consultants 173 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,918 pick which branch gets axed. 174 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,617 So, to defend our branch, 175 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,707 we must not defend our branch. 176 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:00,664 Wai-Wai-Wait, hold up. 177 00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,362 Go back. Give me that. 178 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,928 -[laughs]: Oh... -You don't... No. -What? Oh... 179 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,408 -Is that... -You don't need to... 180 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,541 CECI: Is that Vic? 181 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,500 No, uh, couldn't be me. 182 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,372 I was in the break room, slamming chia pud. 183 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,591 CECI: That face! Aah! 184 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,464 This. This is why I keep going back to church. 185 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,162 You do continue to show me Your love. 186 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,946 [laughs]: Oh, God. 187 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,601 No, no, no, I was running towards the back exit, 188 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,516 because, usually, when bad guys come in through the front, 189 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,562 you got to watch that back door, 190 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,694 'cause even worse bad dudes come in the back door. 191 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,131 I am sending this to everyone. 192 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,524 And I don't mean just the office. 193 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:37,353 Ooh, there's another angle. 194 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,661 Did I actually have a good day at work today? 195 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:41,836 Huh. 196 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,099 Steve Miller Band? 197 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:46,710 John Denver? The Eagles. 198 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:50,540 Wow, you have the musical taste of a 70-year-old white guy. 199 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,499 I can't believe you took Armando's side. 200 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:53,935 That was so embarrassing. 201 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,110 -His side? -Mm-hmm. 202 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,068 Colette, there is no argument. 203 00:06:57,155 --> 00:07:00,115 This car is not worth the money that it would take to fix it. 204 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:03,031 And I don't know why you're so attached to this hunk of junk. 205 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,947 'Cause it has a lot of memories, okay? 206 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,515 You know, I-I drove myself to prom and back in this thing. 207 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,387 I spilled two vats of gravy in the back seat. 208 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,172 Thanksgiving 2014, Gravy-Fest 2017. 209 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:17,088 Amber and I drove 6,000 miles out here from Delaware, 210 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,307 in this thing. 211 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,744 Isn't that only 3,000 miles? 212 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,790 Yeah. We got real lost. 213 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,446 The point is, this car-- i-it survives everything. 214 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,448 Armando is not the first mechanic 215 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,928 to tell me that it's done for, m'kay? 216 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,801 All right, well, everything survives until it doesn't. 217 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,803 -It's just time. -Nope. You're wrong. 218 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,544 I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna get the repairs 219 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,982 that this baby needs to pass its "smog test." 220 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:43,767 And I'm gonna do it for far less than $3,000 221 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,900 -because Gary never dies. -Oh, boy. 222 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,336 Oh. 223 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,164 Glue gun's in the glove box. 224 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,645 And there's duct tape under the seat. 225 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,386 You know what? I am just going to not 226 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,779 -touch anything, okay? -Fine. 227 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:56,911 -Whoa! -Oh... 228 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,220 -That is new. -[groans] 229 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,531 -Next. -Um, hey. 230 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,577 Is it true somebody robbed this place yesterday? 231 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,535 Yeah, but it turns out it was just our manager. 232 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,319 This guy giving you troubs? 233 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,582 -No. -I'm watching you, pal. 234 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,498 [snorts] 235 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:19,673 Vic, stop pretending to be tough, okay? 236 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,326 I will never unsee what I saw on that tape. 237 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,938 That was a fluke. I am tough. 238 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,809 I used to be a bouncer. 239 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,855 Well, you definitely bounced away from the action yesterday. 240 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,378 It was like in a cartoon, when they run so fast 241 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,771 that their little feet can't touch the ground, 242 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,554 like doodley, doodley, doodley-whoo! [laughs] 243 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,470 Okay. I see I'm gonna have to prove my toughness. 244 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,732 [exclaiming] 245 00:08:35,905 --> 00:08:37,299 Aah! Aah! Oh! 246 00:08:37,385 --> 00:08:39,039 -Ah, Vic. Oh, my God. -Oh, my kneecap. 247 00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,345 God. That's my chair. 248 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,260 Ooh, but I'm good. 249 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,261 It hurts, and I love it. 250 00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,177 Gross. Ooh. 251 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,789 Oof. Dang. 252 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,094 -[grunts] -CECI: Ay. 253 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,618 Real tough, Vic. 254 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,229 -Already back. -Okay. Next, please. 255 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:57,319 -[engine rumbling erratically] -[metal clattering] 256 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,800 GREGG: What the... 257 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,369 What the hell was that loud noise out there? 258 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,154 Did a helicopter just land? 259 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:09,157 Oh, that's just the sound of me proving you wrong, Gregg. 260 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,680 Wait, that was your car? 261 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,553 Yeah. All fixed. And for a very reasonable price. 262 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,685 You may have a "car guy," 263 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,732 but I have the... a Internet. 264 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,081 Well, from the sound of it, they took 265 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,170 -your catalytic converter. -What now? 266 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,824 The thing that stops your car from making 267 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,652 -that loud, horrible noise. -Yeah, yeah. 268 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:26,870 They said it's temporary. And now 269 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,437 I'll be able to pass the smog test. 270 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,482 They lied, Colette. And, trust me, 271 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,484 that car is not safe to drive. 272 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:35,183 Uh, defeat-- not a good color on you. 273 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:37,620 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go buy a fancy coffee 274 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,188 with my thousands of extra dollars. 275 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,668 Uh, you want anything, 276 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,279 or, uh, too full from eating your own words? 277 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,585 [laughs] I got him. 278 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,195 -Yeah, you got me. -Yeah, I got you. 279 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:50,459 Just, uh, text me the order, though. Yeah. 280 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,765 Okay. 281 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,856 [shouts] Everybody be cool! 282 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,858 This is a robbery! 283 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,729 Citizens of Citizen, I am in an active robbery. 284 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,731 -For real this time. -Hyah! 285 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:02,950 [grunting] 286 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,647 -Stop right there! -MAN: Oh, no. 287 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,041 -It's that tough guy. -That's right. 288 00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:10,087 Terrified public, do not fear this human piece of garbage. 289 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,872 For I, Vic Tersillo, 290 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:12,960 -have this... -[shouting] 291 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,091 [grunting] 292 00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,398 Barb, what the hell? 293 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:17,747 I had this under control. 294 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,009 BARB: Oh, geez. 295 00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:20,402 -My instincts kicked in. -Buddy... 296 00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,709 I violated DMV protocol. 297 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,101 I'm sorry, Mr. Robber. Please don't sue us. 298 00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,060 -[gasps] -Noa? 299 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,844 -Oh, my... -I'm sorry, Vic. 300 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,237 I never saw her coming. 301 00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,979 Why are you apologizing to me, stranger? 302 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,546 -Stranger? -Oh, come on. Another fake robbery? 303 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:35,722 Citizen has a three-strike policy. 304 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,332 I can't get kicked off another app. 305 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:38,638 NOA: You said if I do this, 306 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,335 I could join your paintball league. 307 00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:42,119 -Not anymore, dummy. -PAULA: Oh, Vic, 308 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,208 it's my paintball league, and the waitlist is closed. 309 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,775 -I'm confused. -CECI: Hello? 310 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,342 Vic clearly convinced Noa to stage another robbery 311 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:48,778 so he could play hero. 312 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:49,910 [sighs] This DMV has hit a new low. 313 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,782 -And we've had bedbugs twice. -[gasps] 314 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,876 [sighs] The thing you like is called a cortado. 315 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,356 That's it. 316 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,663 Uh, Gregg, can you please come pick me up? 317 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:04,620 'Cause my... [clears throat] 318 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,578 -...car died. -[sighs] Yeah. 319 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:07,884 -Where are you? -[horn honks] 320 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,320 Hold on. 321 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,672 Back up, park and walk inside. 322 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,586 Your car broke down in a drive-through? 323 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:15,849 -[horns honking] -Oh, oh! 324 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,589 My car can honk, too, you know. 325 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,113 -[warbling honk] -[whimpers] 326 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,115 Come on, Gary, say something. 327 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:22,725 -[Barb shouts over video] -Oh! No, no, no. 328 00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,161 Okay, okay, one more time, Barb. 329 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,728 Play it one more time, please, please. 330 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,556 -[shouts] -Boom! That elbow. 331 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,385 Barb, do you have, like, an ex that you want to get back with? 332 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,344 Because you should send this to them. 333 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,564 Honestly? Would smash. 334 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,652 [hoarse]: Please don't say "smash." 335 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,698 My gal-dang vicious instincts 336 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,525 put the branch at risk. 337 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,919 Well, here's my manhood. 338 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,357 CECI: Body oil and protein powder. What's this-- 339 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,229 you're going to a swap meet at Muscle Beach? 340 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,970 Those are once a month, and you have to be on a list. 341 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,189 -Ugh. -I'm not the office tough guy anymore, 342 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,625 so I don't need this stuff. 343 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,150 It's like I don't know who I am anymore. 344 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,805 Maybe I should buy a cardigan and be one of those guys 345 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,937 that says, "Hey, no worries if not." 346 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,635 "H-Hey, Dwayne, want to hang out? 347 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:06,377 -No? No worries if not." -Well, 348 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,728 -that's gross. -Yeah. 349 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,382 There's just no reason to have all these at work. 350 00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,080 No, no, I'm talking about Vic. 351 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,039 I mean, I wanted him to own being a wuss and all, 352 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,432 but I didn't want him to lose his entire essence. 353 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,000 That's just, like, creepy. 354 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,480 This has got to be the smallest ThighMaster 355 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,439 I have ever worked with. 356 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,701 Ah-- look at this. 357 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,181 -CECI: Barb, that's not a... -Yeah. 358 00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,313 I can really feel it in my gloins. 359 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,924 Can you not do that in my chair, please? 360 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,274 It's like a hummingbird's wishbone being crushed 361 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,319 by two redwoods. 362 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,365 -[strains] -CECI: Please, please, please. 363 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,323 -No! -Aah! 364 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,850 Hey, Colette. 365 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,329 Sorry I'm late. I got on the wrong bus. 366 00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,244 Although if I was trying to go to the airport, 367 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,724 I got on the right bus. 368 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,465 -Mm. -Thanks again for helping me 369 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:51,683 get Gary towed yesterday. 370 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,034 Uh, don't thank me yet. 371 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,122 Come on, I want to show you something very cool 372 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,645 out the window. 373 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,603 [gasps] Is the flasher back? 374 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,127 -[chuckles] -I love her. 375 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:01,911 No. 376 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:02,999 You see that car with the bow on it? 377 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,348 -Mm-hmm. -The blue car? 378 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:05,610 It's a regular bow. 379 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:08,439 They don't sell car bows at CVS. 380 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,528 I'm watching. Is it gonna blow up or something? 381 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,053 It's your new car! [chuckles] 382 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,098 -Mm-hmm. -I'm thinking you call it Gregg. 383 00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,057 I don't understand. I have a car. 384 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,798 No, you have a piece of metal 385 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,974 that's, like, unsafe to drive. 386 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,846 So, yesterday, I made a deal with Armando. 387 00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:27,284 I gave him your Volvo for parts, and a transmission that I had 388 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,635 in exchange for one of his used cars. 389 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,420 How could you do this? 390 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,074 I didn't ask for this. 391 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,727 Do you know how crazy that is? 392 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,382 Yeah, I do, because when I was doing it, I thought, 393 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,863 "This is crazy, it seems like something Colette would do." 394 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,952 I can't believe this. 395 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,172 GREGG: Where you going? 396 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,435 Uh, to return your "gift," 397 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,915 and get my car back. 398 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,573 And if I were a key? 399 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,619 -On your desk. -Thank you. 400 00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:09,979 AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving A37. 401 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:14,288 BARB: What in the Gilligan? 402 00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,594 May I help you? 403 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,293 -Oh! -Oh. It's me, Barb. 404 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,729 Well, the new me. 405 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,383 If I can't be the office tough guy, 406 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:25,342 I figured maybe I could be our jam band guy? 407 00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,388 Phish is still a thing, 408 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,652 Mayer's touring with the Dead, Goose is the new Twiddle. 409 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,697 -What? -Yeah, I don't really get it. 410 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,961 I don't know any of that stuff, either. 411 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,963 And truthfully, I'm worried how me 412 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,790 and all these friggin' burnouts are gonna make conversaish. 413 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,707 Jam Band Vic doesn't do abbreviaish. 414 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,753 Damn it. This is gonna be tough. 415 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,537 You know, you don't have to change who you are 416 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:49,279 just because your gut instinct was "run away this one time." 417 00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,455 But it wasn't just this one time. 418 00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:56,199 When I was a kid, I was a shrimp. 419 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,245 Everyone at the foster house would get into fights, 420 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,117 and the only way I could survive would be to run away. 421 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:03,903 I got muscles as soon as I could, but... 422 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,426 maybe that's just on the outside. 423 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,994 Honey, what I did was embarrassing. 424 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,734 I would have loved to react the way you did. 425 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,562 Instead, Papa Barb's 426 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,782 instincts cut in and... 427 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,610 What you did-- that was something stronger. 428 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,265 Say more. Go on record. 429 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,963 Mention specific muscle groups, if-if you can. 430 00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:23,923 You followed DMV protocol and you showed restraint. 431 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,925 I almost decapitated Noa. 432 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,797 Unfortunately, I would do it again. 433 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,538 God, I want to do it again. 434 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:31,756 Restraint. 435 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,367 I never thought of it like that. 436 00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,543 Except for, in the moment, 437 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:37,501 when I was doing it on purpose, 438 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,460 as an active choice. 439 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,244 Exactly. 440 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,246 You might have been a little guy growing up, 441 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,814 but you're teaching me how to be a big guy... 442 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,207 [clicks tongue] ...up here. 443 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:49,818 Thanks, Barb. 444 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,168 You know, as a leader, you don't get enough appreciation. 445 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,997 [chuckles] I know you wanted to say "appreciaish." 446 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:58,000 Actually, it's just "preesh." 447 00:15:58,131 --> 00:16:00,742 Oh, man. Feels good to be back. 448 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:01,961 -[laughs] -Ah, ah. 449 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,527 You remember the seminar. 450 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:04,964 Yes. 451 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,012 Hey. 452 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,406 I was too late. 453 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,670 He already took Gary apart. 454 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,022 Look, I'm sorry for overstepping. 455 00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:23,199 I realize you had a lot of memories in this car. 456 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:26,028 This car was my dad's. 457 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,553 He gave it to me the year I graduated high school, 458 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,252 and it's... it is the last thing I had of him. 459 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,341 Hmm. 460 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:37,605 When he passed, it had-it had been years 461 00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:40,173 since I'd been home. 462 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,826 You know, travel's so expensive. 463 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:45,352 I kept saying "next year, next year," and then... 464 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,182 ...there was no next year. 465 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,796 I don't even know what to say, Colette. 466 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,493 When I was a kid, he used to take me 467 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:57,842 on these 468 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,497 long Sunday drives and... 469 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,718 would listen to John Denver and he'd bore me with trivia 470 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,112 about West Virginia. 471 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,505 Did you know it has, uh, more towns 472 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,855 named after foreign cities than any other state? 473 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,727 -[tongue clicks] -No, I didn't, 474 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,598 but then my cousin moved to Beijing, West Virginia. 475 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,651 I know the car had to go, I just, uh... 476 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:28,134 I wish I had been able to say goodbye. 477 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:33,400 Well, I didn't know any of that. 478 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,619 [sniffles] 479 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,969 But I do know this. 480 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,841 What? 481 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,278 This is a Subaru. 482 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,849 Gary! 483 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,417 [whistling a tune] 484 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,941 Help. Help. A man just stole my purse. 485 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,899 -Where? -Uh-uh-uh, no. 486 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,206 What? Please. He's right there. 487 00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,034 You can still catch him. 488 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,645 I can, and I won't. 489 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:04,257 [stammers] Somebody call the police? 490 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,649 Mama, I saw the purse. 491 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:06,824 He's doing you a favor. 492 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:08,826 Why won't anyone help me? 493 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,916 Because, ma'am, this is the DMV. 494 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:15,746 Helping people is not what we do here. 495 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:18,706 AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving P19 496 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:22,449 at window number ten. 497 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,975 BARB: My boy. 498 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,763 Okay, I get it now. 499 00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:33,895 Are you sure you don't want 500 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,244 -to sit on this side? -No. 501 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,160 Shotgun's where I have my best memories. 502 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,381 Look, look, look. 503 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:44,558 Dad used to let me put my stickers on here. 504 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,690 It's kind of disturbing how little they've disintegrated 505 00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:49,171 throughout the years. 506 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,217 I ate some of these. What do you think that means? 507 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,783 I think it means the memory of your dad 508 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,133 will always be with you. 509 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,091 Hmm. 510 00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,876 -Oh. -Oh. 511 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,444 Maybe you could help me install this in my new car? 512 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:02,706 Sure. 513 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,317 It'll be $3,000. 514 00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:10,932 Would you pop this in the Discman 515 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,455 connected to the cassette tape 516 00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,457 connected to the cigarette lighter for me? 517 00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,329 Yeah. Sure. 518 00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:24,293 ["Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver playing] 519 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:27,340 [music skipping] 520 00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:28,602 Hold on. 521 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,604 ♪ ...most he...♪ 522 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,780 ♪ Blue Ridge Mountains♪ 523 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:36,827 ♪ Shenandoah River♪ 524 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,613 ♪ Life is old there♪ 525 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:42,833 ♪ Older than the trees♪ 526 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,054 -♪ Younger than the mountains♪ -Bye. 527 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,925 ♪ Growing like a breeze♪ 528 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:50,406 ♪ Country roads♪ 529 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:53,801 ♪ Take me home♪ 530 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,847 ♪ To the place♪ 531 00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:59,676 ♪ I belong♪ 532 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,026 ♪ West Virgina♪ 533 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,682 ♪ Mountain mama♪ 534 00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:08,424 ♪ Take me home♪ 535 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:11,993 ♪ Country roads.♪ 536 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,435 -BARB [strains]: 10 and 2. -Barb? 537 00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,220 -BARB: 10 and 2. 10 and 2. -Is everything okay? 538 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:24,658 BARB: 10, 10 and 2. 539 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,400 "East Hollywood successfully 540 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,619 -allows robbery, avoids lawsuit." -[mouths] 541 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:32,274 -Hey, all right. -Friggin' made 10 and 2. 542 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,580 We got a "Honk Out." Page 14. 543 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,669 Robbery? What the hell did we miss? 544 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,932 -Now you read it out loud, Greggory. -No. 545 00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:39,499 Read it out loud for us, Colette. 546 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,370 Uh, the one line? Vic already did. 547 00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:43,285 Yep. "East Hollywood 548 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,374 "successfully allows robbery, 549 00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,507 -avoids lawsuit." Mm. -GREGG: Mm. 550 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,509 Chills. Ah! 551 00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:51,467 [whoops, laughs] 552 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,643 Oh. Seminar. Hmm. 553 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,254 Restraint. 554 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,821 East Hollywood's in print! [whoops] 555 00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:05,002 Captioning sponsored by CBS 556 00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:08,049 and TOYOTA. 557 00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:11,400 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org